I'm certain this happens to Christians often. Sure, you know in the depths of your heart that God knows what He's doing and that He will protect you, but when He asks you to step out in faith to do something you're not comfortable with, you hesitate. "No, that's okay, God. I got this. I'll obey you in other areas, but in this area? Eeeh, I think I'll pass. It's kind of You to think of me, though!"
Mmmhmmm. That's been ME. God has been tugging at me to share through a blog the things He's teaching me. Why, I don't know. I suppose He'll reveal that part later. For now, I've decided to just obey. Today's entry is little lengthy because I need to describe my path at arriving here.
My entire life has been mostly oriented around music- so I have spent many-an-hour spending time with Christ through just that. The challenges of reading, learning, memorizing, and performing music is not something to be taken lightly. God has seen me through. The avenue of music is truly still how I am most in tune with hearing His voice (no pun intended). I would, and often still, walk out of church getting more out of the message from the music we sang during worship than the actual sermon itself. God and I like to hang-out like that... listen to tunes, y'know. It's the language I prefer to speak.
God has also been able to grab my attention through nature. I am constantly amazed by the sunrise and sunset... so much so that I often have to pull over to the side of the road and stand there in absolute awe of His artistry. His power is completely evident to me in those moments and it's usually in those same breaths as I watch the sun set that I rediscover just how very little I am... and just how very big He is.
Within the last several years, I have taken up the hobby of running. If you knew me at all BEFORE this development, you'd be surprised to hear I was doing anything active at all. I mean, I've never been a bum; I was always up for a game of Ultimate Frisbee or a walk, but asking me to run for "exercise" was pretty much out of the question.
And then one day, I decided to sign up for my first 10K since I was a child. I wanted to see if I could do it, and I needed a plan to help me be successful. So, somehow I persuaded my sister into signing up with me (the same sister who will look you straight in the eye and say "I don't run.") Yeah, please don't ask me how in the WORLD I was able to convince her that signing up was going to be "fun." So, power walking became her thing in training. Let me be the first to describe this to the world... her power walk is like the Bionic Woman's power walk. Wonder Woman ain't got nothin' on my sister's power walk. I'd try to walk next to her and I would actually think to myself, "Any second now I am pretty sure my shins are going to burst into flames and burn off." Let's just say I was not up to par with her speed walking, so I was forced to run*.
*Please know that every time I refer to myself as "running," I mean a measly-ol' jog. I mean really? My sister can WALK faster than my run.
Since I wasn't a runner, I relied on music to help me through. Many people do, actually, and there's nothing wrong with that. Tunes that are perfectly chosen can be a beautiful thing. For this particular 10K, sister listened to music, too. She actually had the same song on repeat for the hour and twenty minutes she walked the 10K because it was the exact speed of her power-walk. I still don't know how she managed that. Trouble came for me when I realized that on the way to the race I didn't have my MP3 player. (I know what you're thinking... but at the time, this little lady didn't own an Ipod.). I began to silently panic. How am I going to get through this race without music? Impossible.
Enter: God.
During those 6.2 miles, I was forced to listen to my own breathing and my own thoughts, and God all-of-a-sudden had a direct line. No static. No sharing a 3-way phone call between Him, me, and my musical selections. It was just Him and me. Running 6.2 miles. And during that race, my life changed. Again! (He does this to me often. Just when I think He's done tweaking me, He comes into my little thoughts, turns them into big thoughts, gives me my next "ah-hah" moment and then. BOOM. Change.) I was busted. Here was the rub God revealed to me that day: I was using MUSIC as a way to push me through that race. I didn't even involve God to be apart of that challenge at all before that day. Hmm. Pretty interesting. In case you're wondering what I'm getting at... I was consciously making the decision to forgo opportunities to listen to my Father. Ridiculous! He was and has always been my biggest cheerleader, and I should've invited Him along in the first place.
And so it began... another avenue in which God and I began to chat. Running, without music. Just me and my thoughts, out in the open for God to quietly whisper to me what I had been unwilling to listen to before. It doesn't get much better than that.
It has been in these runs that He has laid upon my heart to blog about what He's teaching me while I train. Especially as I now journey toward completing my first half marathon at the end of March. It is my prayer that through my obedience in writing these entries, you are changed/touched/moved/challenged in Christ.
Run on!
Luke 9: 23-24
23 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. 24 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it."
After a run on 1/3/13.
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